Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Reviewing my old poetry

Hey, everyone!

Last night I remembered that Facebook has this feature called "notes" where you can basically publish posts like this one to Facebook. And I remembered that from middle school to the beginning of college I used to post my own poetry and monologues and stuff on there for some reason.
I gave them a look expecting to cringe. And many of my old poems are pretty bad; they're melodramatic and try to use as many weird gimmicks and big words as possible and they're just really pretentious and desperate sounding. However, I did find some old poems that were surprisingly not horrible and some that I even enjoyed reading.
So I thought it would be fun to pick some of the not-horrible ones and post them on here and criticize them a bit.

We'll start off with a fun one. It's pretty brilliant.

Jamien the Masked Mailyman

I waited for my mail
I waited in the jail
It seemed she would ne'er come
For up up up went my heart
And down down down went my feet

I was just messing around and trying to make fun of poetry clich├Ęs
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This one is probably my favorite.

Written on a leap day in math class

Here in this room I learn to think of hope
I suffocate and learn to use my lungs
This is the place where days and dreams elope
Where young caged birds restrain their out-loud songs
Here in this room I learn the highest arts
Math and science and geometry
Yet in this place we never reach the heart
Of what bluebirds sing--of poetry
I see in every wall and boundary
A secret treasure made that I will take
Inside, a golden opportunity
For every law and ordinance to break
Though in the face of death some will retreat
The young at heart refuse to fall asleep

I published this to Facebook on February 29th, 2012. I think this was the time when I was taking a math class at 8am so I had to catch an early bus and sit through a monotonous class while trying to stay awake. But I learned during boring classes like those that you can daydream the best when put under that kind of pressure. It's the times when I'm bored and stressed out that I really get creative and think of some of the best ideas. So in this poem I think I was trying to express that the really lame times like that are actually opportunities for inspiration in disguise.
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Ok, here's another one I think is pretty good.

(No title)

Break the chains of sleet and snow
Kill the winds that freezing blow
Free the earth that cursed died
Let the dirt be glorified

Undress, reveal uncovered feet
Wrap them up in summer heat
Tear off insulating skin
Reveal the hidden strength within

Fill the air with humid breath
Loose the bonds of time and death
Open up our lungs to breathe
Every possibility

I don't have a date for this, but I know I wrote it on a piece of lined paper in the coffee shop on my college campus. I remember it was winter, so I just put together a cool little rhyme and a meter that sounded cool and put this together.  I think it sounds kind of hymn-like. I also remember having the stanza about feet bouncing around in my head for a while before I finally got around to putting it to paper.
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Here's another stupid joke one. It's actually more stupid than the Jamien one, so it's pretty stupid.

Confab Rehab

Confabulation coagulation
Is sweeping the nation!
Elimination of generations
It's a hit sensation!

Spreading bread
Is blanketing the homestead!
Widespread love dread
It's never been proofread

Do you suppose I'm the best of us?
Humility is such a fuss
Nickelback just Hinders us
Wallabies are kangaroos

Choose your muse
It's real bad news
If you lose the ruse
Because zoos come in two's

I just made that up to be stupid. The only stanza that I even care about is the one about Nickelback because it's referencing an in-joke that I've had a for a while (with who? Myself I guess) about how the bands Nickelback and Hinder are interchangeable.
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I think I'm just going to chicken out and not share my terrible stuff. I don't even like looking at it myself. >.>

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